ninehertz

1. • Donny
   • Tim Holehouse says:

     Donny says:

     bad admiral says:

     Donny says:

     Was watching Orange Goblin and Napalm Death with the lovely Dayal (terrorizer writer/photographer and crypt zine maker). I was rather drunk. After a while his missus comes to join us and he introduces her to me. At this point I decide it's time for a wee. I attempt to do it in a bottle, which I have ingeniusly picked up off the floor and placed down the front of my trousers.
     
     I then proceed to piss. Only my knob end isn't over the bottle and I actually proceed to piss all over the inside of my jeans. Much to the horror of Dayal and his missus. I then carried on watching the bands.
     

     
     
     classic whip. you'd think you would have learnt....

     
     
     Me and piss are a bad combination. I literally 5 mins ago managed - while standing at the toilet - to have my piss go at a right angle and go all over my leg.
     
     I've got a piss curse.

     
     
     Didn't you full piss yourself watching Biohazard? Donny "the baldder" Hopkins.
     
     
     No wasn't me. I think. I did piss myself watching Kiss last year, but that was fine. That was so I didn't miss any of the gig, so it was justified. And I was dressed as Pete Criss.
   • [09:40 on 29/04/09]
2. • Tim Holehouse
   • I saw the photo... you looked amazing! Still gutted we never did that Kiss covers set with us all as Pete Criss.
   • [10:48 on 29/04/09]
3. • rlucas666
   • Donny says:

     Was watching Orange Goblin and Napalm Death with the lovely Dayal (terrorizer writer/photographer and crypt zine maker). I was rather drunk. After a while his missus comes to join us and he introduces her to me. At this point I decide it's time for a wee. I attempt to do it in a bottle, which I have ingeniusly picked up off the floor and placed down the front of my trousers.
     
     I then proceed to piss. Only my knob end isn't over the bottle and I actually proceed to piss all over the inside of my jeans. Much to the horror of Dayal and his missus. I then carried on watching the bands.
     
     
     Just to spread the net a bit wider than Download I've got a similar urine related story from the Leeds festival when G'n'R played.
     
     The short version is that I'm far too lazy to get out of the tent to have a piss at festivals and I found out half way through that my bladder that night held more than a 330ml Sprite bottle's worth, never mind trying to accurately hit the target when completely spannered and squatting on my knees.
     
     Hence me being woken up freezing cold in the wee small hours of the morning with the whole place on fire as police helicopters circled in a sleeping bag dampened with my own piss. Not happy.
   • [11:20 on 29/04/09]
4. • Tim Holehouse
   • I once lefta field of destruction at reading. I got so Drunk "That guy" came out. He stood up and walked in a straight line through a field of tents knocking down all in his path. I woke up right over the other side of the campsite asleep in a puddle covered in sick cuddling an empty bottle of Vodka. The tent weirdly I'd passed out to had been my uni house mates who I didn't even know was at the festival. Lovley time.
   • [11:48 on 29/04/09]
5. • Donny
   • Another two piss stories.
     
     My missus invested in a 'P-Mate'. Basically a cardboard shoe like funnel that a lady can pop her flaps in and pee into... with the pee coming out the funnel like a mans willy. Basically so they can bypass the sit down loos and piss in the urinals. Well, whenever we go camping we keep a spare pringles pot for pissing in. They have a nice wide neck and are foil lined so they can be used again and again. One year, in her pissed state. Jayne got out of her sleeping bag in the middle of the night, got her p-mate, got the pringles pot and began to start filling it up. Only, it didn't fill up because she forgot to take the lid off. By the time she'd realised, she couldn't stop and the tent filled up with piss. Not for long though, as my sleeping bag seemed to absorb most of it.
     
     Another pringles pot story is my mate alex started to do the same. Only he got pissed and stepped on the bottom of it. Cracking the foil base. He didn't realise until he'd finished and the bottom of his tent was full of nasty morning piss.
     [Edited by Donny at 11:50 on 29/04/09]
   • [11:49 on 29/04/09]
6. • Hopkins
   • Donny, I thought the Lenor bottle was a better option than the Pringles pipe?
   • [12:12 on 29/04/09]
7. • Donny
   • Hopkins says:

     Donny, I thought the Lenor bottle was a better option than the Pringles pipe?
     
     
     Yes, but you don't get crisps in a lenor bottle.
   • [12:19 on 29/04/09]
8. • Donny
   • Heh... is any of this any use for you Marek?
   • [12:19 on 29/04/09]
9. • Mazz
   • I shot a man in the balls for dissing LORDI
   • [12:27 on 29/04/09]
10. • Tim Holehouse
    • Yeah they're still a bit sore Mazz thanks for that.
    • [15:34 on 29/04/09]
11. • Th@ Guy
    • A mate of mine a couple of Downloads back successfully, despite having zero pounds, managed to get absolutely slaughtered then promptly stole a ride on the ghost house thing after doing what he considered to be a "sexy dance" (basically rubbing his nipples against the cashiers window in time to livin' on a prayer by Bon Jovi"). whilst in the ghost house he promptly started losing clothes and ended up streaking across the whole funfair area before being promptly arrested, whilst desperately trying to pull up his boxers mind, and frog marched out of the festival..... on the first night.... after being there for about 3 hours..... and yes it was all filmed
    • [20:05 on 29/04/09]
12. • sabbathfan
    • Last year the circle pit for the Cavalera Conspiracy when they played Roots Bloody Roots was INSANE.
      
      Apart from that, nothing, but go to the motor museum if you're there, some interesting F1 cars to see.
    • [22:06 on 29/04/09]
13. • Ramo
    • The last night of Download 2004, it's 4 am and we're wandering the campsite looking for shenanigans to keep us up til the drive back. After a while we're grabbed by a this big cockney dude who says he's collecting shit in a bag to send to Tony Blair and asks if we'd like to donate.
      
      Sure enough there's a black carry-all on the ground half filled with fecal matter, my mate PW thinks this is great and is soon squatting over the bag to add his own contribution to the foul mixture. So for the next couple of hours we kick about the area sharing vodka with some welsh folk whilst the cockney goes about the locality persuading passers-by to support his cause.
      
      Finally he returns, hold-all filled to the brim and a huge smile on his face, jokingly i ask him if it was worth ruining the bag, to which he replies 'that's the best thing, found it in that empty tent' pointing to a nearby tent. Recognising an opportunity for scavenging PW and I make our way over to the tent and open it up, only to find two people sleeping in the back section, realising this is in fact their tent we sneak back and inform the political activist.
      
      He then proceeds to quietly return the bag to the tent, closing it up behind him before running off, never to be seen again.
      
      Good times.
    • [11:33 on 30/04/09]
14. • Mazz
    • Ramo says:

      The last night of Download 2004, it's 4 am and we're wandering the campsite looking for shenanigans to keep us up til the drive back. After a while we're grabbed by a this big cockney dude who says he's collecting shit in a bag to send to Tony Blair and asks if we'd like to donate.
      
      Sure enough there's a black carry-all on the ground half filled with fecal matter, my mate PW thinks this is great and is soon squatting over the bag to add his own contribution to the foul mixture. So for the next couple of hours we kick about the area sharing vodka with some welsh folk whilst the cockney goes about the locality persuading passers-by to support his cause.
      
      Finally he returns, hold-all filled to the brim and a huge smile on his face, jokingly i ask him if it was worth ruining the bag, to which he replies 'that's the best thing, found it in that empty tent' pointing to a nearby tent. Recognising an opportunity for scavenging PW and I make our way over to the tent and open it up, only to find two people sleeping in the back section, realising this is in fact their tent we sneak back and inform the political activist.
      
      He then proceeds to quietly return the bag to the tent, closing it up behind him before running off, never to be seen again.
      
      Good times.
      
      
      
    • [11:40 on 30/04/09]
15. • Marek
    • Some good stuff here yeah, may use a couple!
      [Edited by Marek at 10:20 on 01/05/09]
    • [10:19 on 01/05/09]
16. • Marek
    • Th@ Guy says:

      A mate of mine a couple of Downloads back successfully, despite having zero pounds, managed to get absolutely slaughtered then promptly stole a ride on the ghost house thing after doing what he considered to be a "sexy dance" (basically rubbing his nipples against the cashiers window in time to livin' on a prayer by Bon Jovi"). whilst in the ghost house he promptly started losing clothes and ended up streaking across the whole funfair area before being promptly arrested, whilst desperately trying to pull up his boxers mind, and frog marched out of the festival..... on the first night.... after being there for about 3 hours..... and yes it was all filmed
      
      
      On YouTube? Would be funny
    • [10:20 on 01/05/09]
17. • Hopkins
    • Marek says:

      Some good stuff here yeah, may use a couple!
      
      
      Ozzfest 2002
      
      Up at 9am drinking snakebite made with Grolsch and White Lightning
      12pm go into the arena wearing a fur coat and carry on drinking
      1pm get bored with crap bands and crap weather so retire to the campsite to drink cans and play football with a bar of soap. take off fur coat
      2pm go back to the arena and secure some hash fudge
      3pm giggle and have fun for an hour, get lost, finally find friends, collapse into a coma and get hailed/rained on, whilst ocassionally twitching
      7pm awake from coma, go back to tent to get fur coat
      8pm watch Tool and Ozzy wearing a fur a coat
      
      edit - some photos
      
      Snakebite for breakfast, with comedy tux tshirt
      
      
      
      Fur coat action
      
      
      [Edited by Hopkins at 10:49 on 01/05/09]
    • [10:39 on 01/05/09]
18. • rlucas666
    • Hopkins says:

      Ozzfest 2002
      
      Up at 9am drinking snakebite made with Grolsch and White Lightning
      
      
      
      You forgot to include 8:30am getting kicked awake by me, or was it John who was sleeping at that end in the tent?
      
      I'm still sorry to this day that I didn't check that my two man tent wasn't actually big enough for two non-midgets. I expect you were both cosy sleeping top-to-tail though.
    • [11:09 on 01/05/09]
19. • Hopkins
    • I slept in my fur coat, John said it was like sleeping with a big cuddly bear
    • [12:03 on 01/05/09]
20. • rlucas666
    • Hopkins says:

      I slept in my fur coat, John said it was like sleeping with a big cuddly bear
      
      
      Who can forget the fun of trying to construct a gazebo out of a tarpaulin and some random tent poles that I had found in the cellar. In the middle of a tornado / tropical storm. Great days.
    • [09:31 on 02/05/09]

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