ninehertz

1. • Mazz
   • Inspired by Bad Admiral's post
     
     "Battlewitch - Dawn of Ruin
     
     The quite ugly cover designed by the band gives a first hint of their artistical prowess. Behind it there is mostly classic dirt rock with an immoderately lousy singer whose initial screams make for an instant dismay. At those times it seems improbable that he ever controls his vocal cords, but surprisingly there are moments when he succeeds in doing this, and fortunately these coincide with the better songs.
     
     That does of course make the worst worse and the best better, but I'd rather see some inconsistency here than just a blurred, protracted nothingness. Even now the songs never seem to go anywhere, and not even the ultra-pronounced bass (it's even listed before the guitar in the lineup) can hide this. The drums sound way too static to make enjoyment possible.
     
     The title track is the first song to breathe any metal, with its Motörhead influences, but Astral Journey is the only really fond memory from Dawn of Ruin. It stands out, being much slower and for having undeniable metal guitarwork - but especially for being so epic - well, in comparison.
     
     Also the production is way lower than what is to be expected from a studio recording from a non-kvlt band in the 21st century, so the combined result has a quite foul smell to it.
     
     15%"
     [Edited by Mazz at 15:46 on 12/10/10]
   • [15:45 on 12/10/10]
2. • FDFC
   • Not t3h metuhlz, but relevant.
     
     This one goes way back to my first year in stand-up at the age of 18.
     
     
     
     "However, if there's one act who didn't seem to want to win friends and influence people, it's Welshman Lee [sic] Jones. His naive, innocent appearance belies a set that has an overt willingness to offend and which culminates in sharp intakes of breath or audible groans." - BBC.co.uk
   • [15:53 on 12/10/10]
3. • Hopkins
   • there were some belting bumsnogger ones, i'll dig them out, one was something like
     
     "they looked, and sounded, like a nu-metal band"
   • [15:55 on 12/10/10]
4. • Mazz
   • All good.
   • [16:15 on 12/10/10]
5. • Rob Himself
   • FDFC says:

     Not t3h metuhlz, but relevant.
     
     This one goes way back to my first year in stand-up at the age of 18.
     
     
     
     "However, if there's one act who didn't seem to want to win friends and influence people, it's Welshman Lee [sic] Jones. His naive, innocent appearance belies a set that has an overt willingness to offend and which culminates in sharp intakes of breath or audible groans." - BBC.co.uk
     
     
     My missus did a slot at the Frog and Bucket a few years ago, went down ok by all accounts. I keep telling her to give it another go, hah.
   • [09:24 on 13/10/10]
6. • bad admiral
   • "immoderately lousy". amateur reviewers who bash amateur bands who don't deserve it are wankers.
     
     some amateur bands that think they're bon fucking jovi do though.
   • [10:11 on 13/10/10]
7. • Ollie
   • bad admiral says:

     "immoderately lousy". amateur reviewers who bash amateur bands who don't deserve it are wankers.
     
     some amateur bands that think they're bon fucking jovi do though.
     
     
     Does "immoderately lousy" actually even mean anything?
   • [10:17 on 13/10/10]
8. • Mazz
   • Ollie says:

     bad admiral says:

     "immoderately lousy". amateur reviewers who bash amateur bands who don't deserve it are wankers.
     
     some amateur bands that think they're bon fucking jovi do though.

     
     
     Does "immoderately lousy" actually even mean anything?
     
     
     I was thinking that..I tried to work it out but had to give up.
   • [10:36 on 13/10/10]
9. • Ollie
   • Mazz says:

     Ollie says:

     bad admiral says:

     "immoderately lousy". amateur reviewers who bash amateur bands who don't deserve it are wankers.
     
     some amateur bands that think they're bon fucking jovi do though.

     
     
     Does "immoderately lousy" actually even mean anything?

     
     
     Moderatley lousy would make some sense suggesting that it's a bit lousy but not completely but immoderately lousy is bordering on gibberish and for that reason the review becomes null and void.
     
     I was thinking that..I tried to work it out but had to give up.
   • [10:39 on 13/10/10]
10. • Mazz
    • "Classic Dirt Rock"
      
      Does make me smile.
    • [10:48 on 13/10/10]
11. • bad admiral
    • LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I'M STEPHEN FUCKING FRY!!! I USE LONG WORDS TO SLATE PEOPLE HAVING FUN!!! I'M KING OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!!! MUUUUUUM!!! MUUUUUM!!! tell me i'm good...please...
      
      ...oh...god...
    • [12:46 on 13/10/10]
12. • Mazz
    • bad admiral says:

      LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I'M STEPHEN FUCKING FRY!!! I USE LONG WORDS TO SLATE PEOPLE HAVING FUN!!! I'M KING OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!!! MUUUUUUM!!! MUUUUUM!!! tell me i'm good...please...
      
      ...oh...god...
      
      
      Relax..relax..look at this picture
      
      
      
      "Hello Rich..Just relax"
    • [12:49 on 13/10/10]
13. • basstard
    • Bad reviews are funny, especially when they are badly written by the terminally clueless. Ever looked on Amazon?
      I recommend that everyone sends their releases to the Daily Mail for comedy review points. My life would be complete if they published a slating review and ran a hate campaign against me.
    • [16:44 on 13/10/10]
14. • bad admiral
    • the daily mail loved white man 2000's debut album "stalag blutkrieg".
      
      i have no idea why though.
    • [17:03 on 13/10/10]
15. • Tino Insana
    • basstard says:

      Ever looked on Amazon?
      
      
      
      I was looking at a book on Amazon the other day. By most reviews it was great, apart from someone gave it a one star review because a third party seller had taken an age to get them the book. IDIOT
      
      True story.
    • [18:19 on 13/10/10]
16. • slack mammoth
    • Witchsorrow are too good for this sort of thing
      
      Mfkzt got some crackers, though.
    • [13:49 on 14/10/10]
17. • mike
    • Throne never really got reviews, however Flatlands got a real mixed bag, some really good ones in Kerrang and Rock Sound, Terrorizer never touched us, we got a stinker in Kerrang last time, think the guy made up his mind within the first two songs there were comments about my 'weak scream' I'd gladly scream in his face to see if he said the same thing, we got an interesting review from someone who'd never seen a heavy band before in the Sheffield magazine Now Then, pretty good, but the usual complaint of "whats he saying" applied!
      
      I've just remembered one Throne comment actually, a battle of the bands way back when we first started without Adam, 'indecipherable vocals'.
    • [12:58 on 16/10/10]
18. • slack mammoth
    • mike says:

      
      
      I've just remembered one Throne comment actually, a battle of the bands way back when we first started without Adam, 'indecipherable vocals'.
      
      
      Did they criticise, point out your faults?
    • [16:06 on 16/10/10]
19. • mike
    • Ohh hoo-hoo!
    • [20:51 on 16/10/10]
20. • Donny
    • Tag line of a Metal Hammer review of the last ATM album went something like this:
      
      Lazy band release terrible album 'shocker'
      
      
      Never fucking liked metal hammer.
    • [06:44 on 17/10/10]

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