ninehertz

1. • bad admiral
   • Back in 1982 people talked about the big four: Slayer, Anthrax, Megadeth and Metallica. On this side of the pond, however, we were still dragging our feet until the genesis of NWOBHM. However, to the educated few, there was a gang of sleaze thrash outlaws known as RATZ ASS. Signed to Hi-Top Records, their eponymous debut, Ratz Ass was released prior to their first national "Hands up who wants some ASS" tour. I remember catching up with drummer and frontman Andy "Mazz" Maslen backstage at the Daventry Punch Bowl (once an ice skating arena, now a shopping centre). The room was lit with black candles and there was an acrid fug of bongsmoke in the air. Maslen would only smoke cigarettes if they were lit by a candle and appeared to be wrecked on ludes, but I remember with fondness our discussions about heavy metal and satan.
     
     Nearly thirty years on, they are readying themselves for the release of their second album "Lookin' at Ass". It only seems appropriate that we pick Mazz's brain for a second time round.
     
     BA: Hi Mazz, How are you?
   • [11:54 on 23/03/10]
2. • Mazz
   • Hip & Fruity
     
   • [12:55 on 23/03/10]
3. • bad admiral
   • I n t e n s e.
     
     How did you become a singing drummer? That seems really odd! There must be an AMAZING story behind it.
   • [13:59 on 23/03/10]
4. • Mazz
   • …yeah…the thing is I don’t really wanna go into it but I will as that’s what SHOULD happen…Dig? Anyway back in 1987 I was on a real bad trip..I got into Jesus and all that crazy bullshit you know? Man! I went to church seven days a week 24/7. I used to sit on the pews and pray and If I need a shit…didn’t matter…I would deal out the shit right there…BANG! HOLY SHIT all over the pew/…mother fucker….Things were going real good between me and god then one fucking day he sent me test….the new vicar arrived with his wife…man she was one HOT PIECE OF ASS..Shit happened…she filled my ass up with baby oil…you know the kind of shit that happens between and man and woman?? Good honest shit. I had to leave the church after we were discovered doing something radical…she was taking a shit in the font and I would shout…”YEAH JESUS” every time a fresh brown egg would drop into the bowl. This has nothing to do with me playing drums and singing. The reason I do play the drums and sing is that I’m the fucking KING..I also once saw a half naked beast sing and drum like the mother Satan back in Olde Bradford on Avon….man that cat was one disturbed mother fucker..I thought….I wanna be like him.
   • [14:19 on 23/03/10]
5. • bad admiral
   • i feel that. testify. does religion still play a strong role in your life? i went through a puritan phase myself...i would celebrate cromwell's birthday and stuff. pretty into it, yeah. wear a big hat like ritchie blackmore.
     
     is god part of the problem or part of the solution? how did you cope with the controversy after you used ss runes for the "SS" of "ASS"? what does metal mean to you?
   • [14:45 on 23/03/10]
6. • Mazz
   • Well Craig..Can I call you Craig? Trouble is Rich sounds like Bitch…you ain’t no Bitch are you Rich?
     
     You see I have tasted many gods…I have chowed down on the words of many a deity. When I get into a deity I mean I really get into them…push it right up to lungs mother fucker…dig? I’ve come to realise that the main god is myself..MAZZ…that’s what I know…that’s what I believe..that’s a fucking fact. On this earth are four other demi Gods that have been placed here to do my work and help me on quest for Immortal righteouness. I don’t think I have met them yet. I did think I met one once. There’s this coke snorting mother cunt that call’s himself the WIZARD. He used to frequent the same pub as me in Bradford-On-Avon. One bitchin hot night he managed to catch one of my shit rippin bands perform…afterwards he told me that NATURALLY I was fucking amazing…he told me he had white suit that had powers that would make me even more fucking amazing. The next weekend he gave me the suit. My followers loaded up a bong as I took the suit out of the bag…to my ultimate disgust and sexual excitement it was covered in dried blood and shit…no fucking joke..that’s the kind of place Bradford-On-Avon is.
     
     Those SS runes man…those SS runes….leave it alone man…I ain’t no fucking Nazi man…they just looked pretty.
     
     To me Metal is just a fucking stop gap until I fucking get in to that sexy Hip Hop shit. You heard Dee Dee Ramone’s solo album? That’s it right there man…that’s where the meaning of life fucking is…
     
   • [15:06 on 23/03/10]
7. • bad admiral
   • dee dee ramone's "i'm a funky guy" is certainly a floor filler. guaranteed to get a reaction at my gaff. you talk drugs man. that's deep. i like drugs. i take lots of them. which ones do you take and why? do you identify with capitalism as an ideology? i don't. francis fukuyama referred to it as the "end of history". i think he is wrong. do you agree? politics is bitching and sexy. do you find anti-fascist girls or racist girls more sexy?
   • [16:23 on 23/03/10]
8. • Mazz
   • 
     As far as drugs go I just digest a little bit of leaf in the morning. Just a hot coffee and a cereal bowl of natures finest…finger leaf I call it…I don’t touch anything else anymore…feels like if I do anything else my brain will fall out of my ears and my gut organs will digest themselves..it’s hard shit man…but that’s what I signed up for man. Fuck yeah….finger leaf
     
     Man..Capitalism is something I’m apart of coz I’m weak…I’m a flawed fucking god…a flawed fucking saviour..I see a hot chick I get a boner…you know….right there in my Bang Tango pants…BANG! Yeah…Don’t like it…I think we will soon see the end of it…capitalism I mean….not my boner…that will never end…never be satisfied. When Capitalism ends I’ll be out on the fucking streets burning someone’s shitty Hollyoaks annual and laughing at the shitty deluded middleclass cunts that can’t afford to run their aspirational third fucking car…..I’M GETTING HOT MAN….THIS SHIT GETS ME HOT. This Franny fuckface is fucking wrong man..Is it a dude or a chick..or both? If it is a chick I may fuck it. Girls and politics don’t mix…don’t bother with it ladies…just get yourself looking fucking rad and listen to some fucking ULTIMATE THREE or NECRO FUCKING DOOM.
     
   • [16:43 on 23/03/10]
9. • bad admiral
   • hot. real hot. i guess you're planning on making heaps of money. i know i am! what are you going to spend your first mil on? i reckon i'd buy my ass a shitload of pussy and blow and get fat. people don't know how to spend money these days. that's why we are in a recession. if people just invested in a little pussy and a little blow, this never would have happened. are you down with that?
     
     ugly kid joe's version of "cat's in the cradle" has just come on. what song by what artist would you cover?
     
     if you had a tattoo, what would it be? tell me and i'll do it for you. pay me in blow and i'll do it twice.
   • [20:29 on 23/03/10]
10. • Mazz
    • 
      Fuck yeah..my first mil? Yeah...a little bit of pussy and a little bit of blow. I've got my eye on a purple hooded robe and some fucking tight white pants...I may get myself a new pad so I can start up my cult...people can suck my cock and make me light lunches.
      Fuck...I normally find the thought of covering someone else's tune disgusting...I find it it an insult to my very being...without conscience thought there would be no reality...yeah...fuck..what the fuck was I rapping about? Oh yeah. Well Craig....If I had to choose it would be either COME TO THE SABBAT by BLACK WIDOW or (HEY YOU) THE ROCK STEADY CREW by THE ROCK STEADY CREW.
      Tats...hmmmm..man that's a shitting good question..If I had to have tat it would have to be either a fucking GYPSY PRINCESS or PAN...of PAN FUCKING A GYPSY PRINCESS.
    • [07:33 on 24/03/10]
11. • bad admiral
    • amazing. my father once dressed as pan to go to a saturnalia. he freaked the cat out when he was standing in the kitchen all painted green. that's a true story. do you prefer diamonds or guns? you can buy guns with diamonds, but guns secure more diamonds. i prefer guns. tell me about the rest of the ASS lads? what are they all about? what is the songwriting process? who is the leader/visionary? i am the "visionary" in koresh. it's my cross to bear.
    • [17:15 on 24/03/10]
12. • Mazz
    • Shit man..me and diamonds go way back. When I eating only bananas and taking bath tub speed 24/7 I used to have this fucking ritual where I would fucking grab a fistful of diamonds and rub them all over my body. I used to believe that they gave me what I called “THE POWER OF THE DIAMOND”….man that shit was out of sight. Alice Cooper actually taught me that shit…he later wrote about it in a fucking shit song called DIRTY DIAMONDS….you see when rubbing the diamonds over my body some would get stuck up my asshole…shit happens you know. The other two fucking meat dogz in Ratz Ass are Will 2000 and Heavy Metal Jim. None of us really get on and are only kept together by the shear fucking righteous sound we fucking make. When we start ‘JAM TIME’ we sometimes just fucking chuck up as soon as fucking see other. Heavy Metal Jim has stared his own fucking commune somewhere on the outskirts of Bath…and check this out..They drink a lot of this apple booze stuff…I think they call it fucking CYDER or some kind of shit like that. What this cult does is drink this apple booze then talk about HIGH CONCEPTS..you know……Dinosaurs, Space, Stonehenge that kind of jive…man they’re welcome to it. Anyway Heavy Metal Jim leads this cult down that dark road of knowledge..you know what’s gunna happen right? Their fucking brains will explode..BANG…shit everywhere…he also chows on pussy..lots of it….yeah…pussy. Will 2000 is not actually human hence his fucking Robot name…this HIGH WIZARD of RIFFS is the keeper of the eternal secrets of RA and the creator of the concept of heaven on earth…he’s also just started digging his garden so that he can lay his fucking patio..Will 2000 is not to be fucked with…seriously..he is fucking deranged beyond the help of man or fucking god. It’s Will 2000 who comes up with riffs for the song…you have to be UNHUMAN to come up with the ball breaking RIFFS that Ratz Ass produce. Will turns the volume up to 666 and just fucking explodes all over the place. Jim and my good fucking self keep it going with the slackest and most ramshittngshackle groove that YOU HAVE EVER HEARD..I then lay down some fucking tasty words that are formed in brain by some kind of GOD OF FUCKING ROCK….YEAH
      
      
    • [16:10 on 29/03/10]
13. • bad admiral
    • Shit man...I remember hanging with Will 2k. He seemed like he was from the future. Didn't say much, just smiled and made robot noizez. HMJ...dude, that guy is like the Shaolin monk of doom. He terrifies me with every move he makes, because I think it'll be my last. What do ladies make of the Ass?
    • [13:34 on 31/03/10]

Forums - Music Discussion and Promotion - *EXCLUSIVE* RATZ ASS INTERVIEW